The Fight for Holly's heart Literally
by polka-dotted-pengiuns
Summary: Artemis and Trouble have a little heart to heart conversation over who they think should date Holly.


The fight for Holly's heart (literally)

By: Polka-dotted-penguin-one

a/n: don't own Artemis Fowl

I'm happy people! (GO HAWKS! YOU GUYS PUT IT TO THOSE TEXANS!) So I'm writing this story that came to me in a dream. As most of them do. ENJOY!

Artemis was sitting in the ops both waiting for Holly and Foaly. He was helping out with a little fairy mission. Since obviously the fairies couldn't keep themselves out of Trouble. Butler was at the house, because Artemis insisted in doing one thing with out a body guard looming over his shoulder. While Artemis was sitting he decided to think of how he was going to ask Holly out for dinner out tonight. He was going to make a database of things to say but Butler told him most girls would think of that nerdy. But then again Holly was not most girls. Then Trouble walked in.

Trouble's breathing was a little faster than normal. And his palms were sweating. If Artemis could see that from a few feet away then they were really sweating. He also had a bouquet of flowers in one hand.

"What's with you?" Artemis asked.

"Well… um… I'm going to try…. Um…"

"Try what?"

"I was going to…" he paused for a second. "I was going to ask Holly out on a date tonight." Gasping for air Trouble sat on the ground. He pulled out a paper bag from behind his back and started hyperventilating.

"Geesh Trouble don't freak out. And don't freak out. You don't have to worry about Holly saying no because you don't need to ask her."

"What?" Trouble asked.

"You see Holly is going to go out with me. I'm asking her after this little meeting." Trouble had to suppress a giggle. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing. It's just that…Holly go out with you? It's funny."

"And she'd go out with you?"

"Well yeah. For one thing I'm the same species as her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means how it sounded."

"Was that a shot?"

"GASP! Genius boy gets it!"

"You want to go?" Now Trouble was on his back laughing. Artemis didn't like being insulted. So to show this he got up and did something he should have had Butler do for him a long time ago. He walked up to Trouble, and stepped on him.

"Oof!" was the reply. Trouble quickly got up at stared Artemis in the eyes. Artemis was looking down. "What was that for?"

"What do you think it was for?" Artemis said checking his manicured nails.

"You stepped on me!"

"You think?"

"That's not nice."

"Just remember I can always step on you." Trouble had had enough. He jumped Artemis and had him to the ground. They were wrestling. Trouble was sort of winning. He was on Artemis.

"You're not even the same species!"

"Well you're short. Who want's to go out with a short guy?"

"Well at least I'm not a giant!"

"No, that's Butler. I'm the perfect height!"

"Oh right! You dating Holly would be like Butler dating a sheep!" Trouble yelled grabbing Artemis in a head lock.

"Butler's standards are much higher than a sheep!" Artemis answered trying to get free.

"At least I don't get my nails manicured once a week! That's not normal! Even for mud men!"

"At least my nails don't look like I've been playing in the dirt since the beginning of time!"

"My nails don't look like that!"

"Take a look for your self!" Trouble did. Artemis was right. His nails had an inch of dirt under them. But he found the dirt comforting. While Trouble was doing this Artemis got out of Trouble's lock and sat on him.

"Well at least I'm not some stuck up rich kid!"

"There is nothing wrong with being rich! At least with me Holly can be on the surface!"

"Like she'd want to be on the surface with you!"

"Of course she would! Who wouldn't?"

"Me for starters,"

"You don't count."

"NO ONE LOVES YOU!"

"Everybody loves me! That's why Holly will go out with me!"

"If everyone loves you then how come people try to kill you?"

"They don't count."

"I've got shiny guns!"

"Butler has shiny guns. I can nick anytime!"

"My guns are shiner!"

"You wish!" Artemis retorted. By now they were both tired, and instead of fighting, Artemis was sitting on Trouble and they were yelling at each other.

"We have fluffy animals down here!"

"You consider trolls fluffy?"

"Yes I do! They're fun to cuddle with!"

"How much Prozac are you on?"

"None, my cat ate it all!" Trouble stated. This kind of weirded-out Artemis.

"What are we arguing about again?

"Um… I don't remember."

"Oh! I remember. We were fighting over who got to go out with Holly!"

"Oh….Holly and I are way better than Holly and you!"

"Nu-uh"

"Yeah-hu"

"Nu-uh"

"Yeah-hu"

"Nu-uh"

"Yeah-hu times infinity!"

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"

"HOW?"

"I DON'T KNOW! IT JUST DOES!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!" Artemis yelled.

"OH YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?" Trouble screamed getting annoyed.

"WHAT?"

"I CAN STILL BITE YOU!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"YES I CAN!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"YES I CAN!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"WATCH ME!" Trouble lunged at Artemis and bit him.

"OUCH! That hurt!" Artemis yelled fighting back. And that was how it went. They were rolling on the floor scratching and biting each other. It looked like a cat fight only with guys. They did that for about 10 minuets. Then Holly and Foaly walked in.

Holly and Foaly were holding hands, and kind of breathing heaver. (Take that any way you want) Holly also had a hickey. Foaly had lots of kisses on his checked and what not. Artemis and Trouble took a second from killing each other to look up. They were shocked.

"What?" Holly asked. Artemis and Trouble were at a lost for words.

"Are you and Foaly going out?" Trouble stammered.

"Um yeah. You didn't know that?" Artemis and Trouble were staring daggers at Foaly. Trouble actually threw one.

"Hey watch it!"

"Um… are you guys okay?" Holly asked.

"We're fine," Artemis said getting up and brushing himself off. Trouble got up as well. Artemis and Trouble started heading for the door.

"HEY! Where are you guys going?"

"We're going to drink our self's silly until we feel happy again," Trouble stated. And with that they walked across the street to the _Drunken Goblin._

A/N: That was fun to write! I hope all my friends out there like it! Penguin two helped me some with it. I like it cause pretty much what ever Holly pairing you like, it makes fun of. REVIEWS help me not go insane! (too late he he)


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